Monday, June 9, 2008

Mom's of 3...

There aren't many of us... guess most people are too sane.... this was too funny not to post!

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. ____________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. _________________________________________

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little dresser.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? _________________________________________

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to wind the baby swing!____________________________________________________

Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. _________________________________________

Diaper Changing:
1st baby: You change your baby's diaper every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees
___________________________________________

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Gymboree, The Little Gym, and baby story hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Gymboree.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. ______________________________________________________

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. ________________________________________

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

_________________________________________

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

peace.

4 comments:

kim hesson said...

amy i love this! i need to copy this and put it in a book!
good luck with CIB you'll do wonderful!

Michelle Devine said...

Thats so funny only because its SO true!

Michele said...

Wow that was all too true for me...I remember cleaning off the binky (fourth child)after it fell in the dirt with my own spit...I know it sounds gross now!

Rita said...

Okay, I know I haven't talked to you in ages, but it seems that a life trasformation has taken place! I HAVE to talk to you! It is 5:30 in the morning or I would be trying to track you down! EMail me ASAP, okay? Love and miss you! Your long lost friend, Rita

ritaannwilson@yahoo.com